i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
