the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
