You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
