just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
