Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
