he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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