im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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