how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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