Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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