the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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