do herpes really smell.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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