her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
