It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
