well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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