Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
