WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
