All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
