no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
this boner is exhausting
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
