someone get that fucking seahorse.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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