Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
