when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
