Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
