I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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