what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
