these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
