Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
