Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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