This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
