No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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