you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
try to milk me bitch
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