so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
