I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
