We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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