redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
