Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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