I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think my vagina is haunted
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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