What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
