The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
