i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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