I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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