I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
