Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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