why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Oh god it's open bar.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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