God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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