i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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