Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
there is glitter all over my balls
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
