she was so not down for the gang bang
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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