I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
