Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
