From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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