i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
